Who we are
DarkDan Laboratories is a fictional facility with no medical training whatsoever. We haven’t even attended a Zoom meeting on proper handwashing techniques.
Comments
Quite frankly, keep them to yourself. We couldn’t give a tiny lab-rat’s ass about how offended you are. If visiting this site made you nauseated or caused projectile diarrhea, be advised that these symptoms may escalate to complete loss of appetite, especial of the sexual nature. And, once you aren’t getting laid, let’s be honest, sites like this aren’t the worst thing you’ll be looking for online.
Media
If you upload images to the website, we hope they will be of a lascivious nature. If you don’t know what lascivious means, you probably don’t do that thing we like.
Cookies
Man, we love ’em. Oreos are a personal favorite, but my mom makes the world’s best chocolate chip cookies. People from elementary school still contact me, trying to get the recipe. At least I hope that’s why they’re trying to get in touch with my mom.
How long we retain your data
Forever and two days. On the third day I will rise again, and you shall be forgiven.
What rights you have over your data
At this point in your life, what rights do you really have? Visit your account on Google and click on Personalized Ads. Then fear for your privacy.
Where your data is sent
Two copies of everything you do are sent directly to Xi Jinping. Don’t blame me, it’s all the tests you took about what kind of potato you are.
Who we share your data with
I usually take a copy of all your entire Internet history to your mom’s house, during my weekly visit.